Living with diabetes can bring some unique challenges to the relationships you have with others – your partner, your family, your friends, and work colleagues.
Learning to navigate diabetes together as a team makes a real difference to both your relationships and mental wellbeing.
Most of us find it difficult to talk about diabetes, even with the people closest to us. We might only want to celebrate the wins and avoid talking about the hard or awkward things. Like any life event or change, diabetes can sometimes put a strain on your relationships.
But open communication and being clear about what type of support you want is very helpful for you and your friends, family and people close to you.
Like any life event or change, diabetes can sometimes put a strain on your relationship and your sex life. But like every relationship challenge, communication is the key.
Be open with your partner about the challenges of living with diabetes. Talking about the issues your face together can calm fears, help you other support each other better, and open a whole range of interesting and helpful conversations.
Having open and ongoing conversations is the key to helping people understand your experience living with diabetes, keep your relationships thriving, and reduce tension and stress.
Managing medications, meal routines, blood glucose levels and unexpected mood swings is a complex balancing act – not just for you, but for those who care about you too.
This section gives an overview of some of the common relationship challenges that people with diabetes may face.
Having diabetes can sometimes feel like having a third person in your relationship. Encouraging open and honest communication with your partner can make it easier for you both to discuss any concerns or questions.
From time to time, one partner may have to become the primary ‘caregiver’ of the other. This can affect how you view one another too. Again, keeping the lines of communication open is the key.
“I was getting so irritated by my wife continually reminding me not to eat certain foods and organising all my appointments. In the end I had to say “Enough!”, but I did it kindly. I know she loves me and was freaked out by the diagnosis. So, if this is you, let your partner know that you appreciate their care, but that you want to learn to do these things for yourself and to keep things as normal as possible in the relationship. You could let them know what you do need instead.”
Diabetes can change how you look, think, and feel about yourself sexually. Sexual changes are common too — for example, hormonal changes, reduced blood flow to your genitals and fluctuating blood glucose levels can all get in the way of feeling like sex.
Many people find talking about sex and attraction uncomfortable. Acknowledging that it can be awkward and hard to talk about can make the conversations easier.
But by helping your partner understand how diabetes is affecting your sexual feelings and desires, you can bring a new level of intimacy to your relationship. So talk about it, experiment, discover new ways to connect emotionally. For more on the physical and practical side of sexual health, you may like to visit our sexual health page.
Human beings are social creatures who thrive best when we feel connected and supported. Yet sometimes, diabetes can feel like a very lonely and personal battle. This isolation and loneliness can have real physical impacts on your wellbeing so it’s important to tend to the emotional bonds that matter to you.
After a life event, like being diagnosed, you might need to explore some new connections or tend to some old ones. Making an active effort to connect with others is even more important if we retire, move communities, or change our lifestyles and some of our connections drop away. Everyone will experience periods of loneliness or disconnection.
The antidote to this is authentic connection with other people. Building your own community of people who understand and ‘get’ you. Plan regular family get-togethers. Join a club. Become a volunteer. Keep in touch with old friends and workmates. Connect with others at your local diabetes support group.
People with strong social networks are not only happier, but they also live healthier lives too.
Top tips from the diabetes community
Your family or friendships are important to ageing well. Taking time to maintain relationships is an important part of good health. Value the people in your life who you can call on for support.
Keep life exciting by meeting new people. Or at home, try new activities or hobbies together, because learning new things can improve your mindset.
I almost became a zombie when I stopped working and had so much time to fill.
Try activities (such as reading, crossword puzzles) or ‘thinking’ games (such as Scrabble, Sudoku or Trivial Pursuit), do it with friends.
Volunteer or become a mentor in the classroom, community centre or organisation – there are proven health benefits. You have skills to share.
Don’t settle for only catching up on a special occasion, increase the social contact that you have on a day-to-day and weekly basis.
Invite family or friends over for a cup of tea and a chat.
As we age, life can be something of a juggling act. Many people find their priorities and relationships changing – parenting teenage children, caring for ageing parents and navigating our relationships with ourselves as our bodies change and age. Managing your diabetes can add another challenge to the mix, and if it changes, our relationships can too.
When you have diabetes, it can also be easy for you and your partner to get caught up in the roles of ‘patient’ and ‘carer’. This not only changes the dynamics of your relationship, it can make you feel uncomfortable too. Communication is the key, and keeping the conversation open about how and what you feel. Discuss your fears, worries and concerns with each other. Talk with your partner about how they are feeling too, and make sure they feel comfortable with the lifestyle changes you are navigating together.
If you are dealing with relationship or sexual health issues, or are facing a relationship crisis, there are a range of support services available to you.
Head to Health (1800 595 212) is a free service which can also help you navigate your options and find which local services and supports might be right for you. You might also like to explore resources from any of the other organisations listed in the support services page.
Counsellors, psychologists or other mental health professionals may also be a good option. You do not need to be at a ‘breaking point’ or very unwell to see them – they can help you develop skills and tools proactively to address things before they become a problem.
Find more resources, programs and peer support from across NDSS. For young people, our Diabetes Youth Zone is a go-to guide with useful resources, tips and advice for managing diabetes with confidence.
Connecting with other people who have diabetes is an effective means of accessing peer support. Sharing your experiences with others can help you feel less alone.
Get tips and guidance on all things sex and diabetes to help you effectively manage your diabetes and stay sexually healthy.