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Loss and change

Everyone responds differently when they are faced with change, loss or a diabetes-related complication. Moving through a period of loss and change is a very personal journey and everybody’s pathway will be different.

Coping with diabetes-related complications

Most of us think of grief in terms of losing someone we love. But there are other kinds of loss and change that we experience.

Facing the loss of eyesight, a limb, hearing, mobility, or bodily functions can come with many feelings, some of which can be loss and grief. Adapting to change or loss itself takes time, and while you are learning to cope, it can make life difficult.

This is why it is important to have support and strategies to help you manage those feelings so they do not become too intense or overwhelming.

Worry or fear about developing a diabetes-related complication

If you do not have a diabetes-related complication, but find yourself feeling worried or overwhelmed with fear of developing one, you may like to visit Worries and fears.

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Your body and mind’s response

Dealing with a diabetes-related complication can be life-changing. Many people in this situation feel overwhelmed by the change a complication will bring to their lives and what it will mean for their future.

And while there will be medical care and advice to support you, sometimes people may not remember to ask you how these changes make you feel. But having the right support can help you cope with the loss over time.

Understanding the mix of emotions

It is normal to experience many waves of different emotions, including sadness, anger, grief, anxiety, and depression.

The thoughts and feelings you experience may be due not only to the sense of physical loss, but also the impact the complication has on:

  • your sense of independence and freedom
  • your health, senses and mobility
  • your role at home or at work
  • the things you had hoped or planned for the future
  • sleeping or eating normally
  • motivation to take care of yourself or – some days – even to get out of bed.

It may help to know that these are all natural responses, and many people experience these same things. And over time, most people can learn how to keep living fulfilling lives, even if they have changed significantly.

Coping with loss

This section shares common challenges people dealing with a diabetes-related complication have said they have experienced.

If your specific experience is not listed here do not be discouraged – the tips covered in What you can do and When to get support are still likely to be helpful.

You are not to blame

Diabetes brings many changes to your life. You may blame yourself or feel blamed or excluded by others – this is stigma. The fact is you are not to blame. There are many causes of diabetes and the complications that can come with it. However, this stigma can deepen your sense of loss or shame and make it hard for you to share your feelings with others.

You are not alone

Many people whose lives have changed due to a diabetes-related complication feel that nobody understands their loss, and that it is a burden they need to carry alone. This can make it feel like it is hidden from others or harder for you to deal with your emotional pain.

The truth is you are not alone. There are many people dealing with diabetes-related complications and many types of support available. The important thing is to find the kind of support that suits you best.

You can find out more about these supports in What you can do and When to get support.

There is no right way to grieve

Everyone’s experience of loss is unique. Knowing that there are no fixed stages or timetables for your individual grieving process can help. There are no set emotions or behaviours you are expected to demonstrate, and it is okay to go at your own pace.

Grief impacts your body and your mind

We often think of grief as an emotional process, but it can have some significant physical and behavioural effects too. Some ways grief can show up in your body, mind or actions include:

  • finding it hard to sleep
  • headaches
  • pain in your heart or chest
  • feeling flat and like you have no energy
  • panic attacks
  • feeling emptiness and overwhelming loss
  • crying and sadness
  • anger and snapping easily
  • guilt and resentment
  • feeling lonely and withdrawing
  • finding yourself uninterested in things you usually enjoy
  • feeling like you cannot stop talking about it
  • changes in your habits like suddenly eating, drinking, gambling or spending more.

Living with loss

A loss due to diabetes can feel all-consuming at the beginning. It can be hard to imagine a life that is not dominated by the loss we are experiencing. These feelings will never fully disappear, but we can learn to grow around them.

Growing around our grief means accepting that the loss will always be a part of us, but knowing that over time the feelings of emptiness and sadness will stop being such a large part of our lives.

Your grief is as unique as you, so you might need to try out a few different strategies to help you. It can be helpful to have someone specially trained to help support you through this, like a grief and loss counsellor. You can find out more about these supports in What you can do and When to get support.

What you can do

Coping with loss and grief related to diabetes can be incredibly challenging. Below you will find a range of information and resources to help you deal with these complex emotions.

Everyone’s grief is different, so you may need to try different approaches to find those that work for you. And if you feel like you need extra support, don’t be afraid to seek help from a professional.

Coping with grief

When you are grieving, it is important to have some coping strategies in order to get through the challenge. While feelings of grief may never go away completely, these tips and stories can help you learn to live with your grief and find hope.

Try a digital program or tool

There are many different types of digital resources. Some are as simple as screening tools and checklists to help you decide if you want to seek help for a psychological issue. Some offer web seminars. Others have structured online programs, and some programs even offer an online counsellor or online psychologist to talk to.

When to get support

If your feelings of grief or loss become overwhelming or interfere with your ability to manage your diabetes and daily life, it is important to reach out for support.

As a starting point you might like to explore free resources available through Grief Australia, Lifeline or any of the other organisations listed in the support services page. Head to Health (1800 595 212) is a free service which can also help you navigate your options and find which local services and supports might be right for you.

Counsellors, psychologists or other mental health professionals may also be a good option. You do not need to be at a ‘breaking point’ or very unwell to see them – they can help you develop skills and tools proactively to address things before they become a problem. And, if you are eligible, your GP can help you access 10 Medicare-subsidised sessions per year through a mental health plan.

What if I need help right now?

Free 24/7 crisis counselling is offered through Lifeline (13 11 14) and Beyond Blue (1300 22 4636).

13YARN (13 92 76) also offers a free, confidential and culturally safe helpline where you can yarn with an Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Crisis Supporter.

If you feel unsafe, you are worried about someone else’s immediate safety, or you feel a life is in danger call 000.

Call our helpline 1800 637 700